As we continue in our travels and as I slowly returned to creating, I noticed there were also things stirring in my heart.
It brought me back to a prayer I often find myself returning to:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
In a way, it feels like a dangerous prayer — because it requires a response.
It's not just words, but an invitation for Him to reveal what's really there. And when He does, I'm faced with a choice — to turn towards Him with it, or to look away and keep going as I was. The latter never works out for me.
This week, I sensed Him gently showing me another layer of unforgiveness in my heart and invited me to bring it into the light.
To be honest, I wrestled with it.
I don't think anyone really likes to face the truth about themselves. I found myself trying to justify things, then slipping into a kind of victim mindset — feeling helpless and thinking, "what's the point… I can't seem to get it right."
And the reminder came so timely as I was listening to the one year Bible reading when Peter asked Jesus how many times he needed to forgive.
Jesus tells Peter seventy times seven.
A reminder that this isn't about getting it right once, but about returning again and again.
I was encouraged by a story about Smith Wigglesworth's wife, who responded with laughter in a moment where she could have reacted very differently. It encouraged me — not as something to strive for perfectly, but as a reminder of the kind of freedom that comes with choosing to forgive.
But in the end, I knew what I needed to do.
To come back again. To surrender. To repent. And to forgive.
For me, the challenge is learning to remain the same in my heart, regardless of how I've been treated. Not waiting for the other person to change, but allowing Him to change me.
Because I've been forgiven of so much, I'm learning to extend that same grace to others and even myself. I found that forgiving myself was the hardest.
This was a good reminder from a post Jo at faithfilledtherapy shared: "When we fill our mind with truth and align our inner stories with God's story of redemption, restoration and making all things new, things can begin to shift and how (and what) we see changes." She has beautiful posts on the connections between the brain and the Bible.
And I'm noticing something else too — when I release these things to Pappa, I can actually feel the shift in my body. A lightness, a letting go. And I sleep better too.
It reminds me that this isn't just spiritual, but something that affects every part of me.
I'm still learning what this looks like in everyday life and I can assure you that I have many opportunities to practise.
Have you noticed what happens — in your heart or even in your body — when you choose to release something instead of holding onto it?
Love, your creative friend Tina.
May you find your own quiet yes with Him today.
